Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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