one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
