I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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