I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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