Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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