State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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