I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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