Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
honey bunches of taint.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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