Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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