it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
