he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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