Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
