i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
