this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize