We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
