like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
