Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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