Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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