with your own penis?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
