the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
