Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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