dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
