im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
