LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My vagina is officially offended.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize