Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
