Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
