This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
