so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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