Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
