how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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