Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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