I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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