just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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