i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
