I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I will pee on everything he values.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
