you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize