marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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