it was like his penis was on wheels.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize