and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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