she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
