Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
