They should really pass out barf bags in church
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
