bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
