Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
