whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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