ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize