TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
