KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
