i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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