No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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