why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
