member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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