Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
