Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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