I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize