He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
