It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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