youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
