ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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