her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
