I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize