bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
