they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize