Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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