I just threw up on my dentist
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
