Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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