Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
