I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
well most of my day revolves around power hour
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Help. Why am I so naked?
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