proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
