it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
