it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
