Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
